Walls

Each day that goes by my walls are growing.
My walls to keep everybody out.
Each day I can feel myself blocking everyone.
Blocking people I’ve trusted for so long.

I have no answer to why I do.
My best explanation would be the feeling of rejection.
The respond I get from people.
The feeling they make me feel.

Giving assumptions before I can explain myself.
Thinking I’ll be judged before I complete my story.
Being filled with hurt when I open up.
It’s not a feeling I like.

Don’t think my walls make me happy.
In fact it brings pain that I can’t use my voice.
It kills me that my stories can never be told.
Sadness that fills my heart that can never go away.

I’ve experienced these walls and had them for a long time.
People breaking them down made me feel weak, yet complete.
I tried for so long to keep them off.
Now they are growing up again, and I have no control.

People might say I have the control and this is what I want.
Only if they have experience it, 

then they’ll no it’s not a paradise.
It’s a situation I wish no one to be in.

It’s a mental disorder that no one knows.
A sickness that is hard to heal.
The only medication is to know you can trust someone.
But no matter how strong that medication can be;
the sickness will always come back when the treatment is neglected.

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