Unconscious

I want to express my true form,
but it’s all a violent storm.
I want to speak up,
but I’ll just blow up.

I want to let go of myself,
but it’ll just be a blight on the shelf.
I want to cry and surrender,
but everyone knows me as a mender.

Is it only me that doesn’t have an expression?
Or disguising myself is my obsession?
Do I point finger on who to blame?
Or should I cover myself in shame?

I stay away from everyone because I know my capability,
but what’s great about me is my flexibility.
I know I act detach at certain occasions,
but this is my only way of evasion.

The point is I’m always fine,
because I’m always on cloud nine.
You will always see me smile,
because I make sure my presence is worthwhile.

It’s moments like this, where I deal with emotions,
that my head starts to create commotions.
As time flies the frustration disappear,
and I find myself writing this poem right here.

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~ Robert Schullner

Reminiscing

I’m here thinking about us,
and the things I wasn’t able to discuss
Everyday I wonder if letting you go was right,
and if I will ever be as bright.

But, I do wanna get a few things off my chest.
I still miss you more than you’ll ever guess.
My feelings for you are as present as before,
Although I know I was always a bore.

The things you told me before didn’t seem to be anything,
and now whenever I remember I feel my heart sting.
When you said the opposite attracts each other.
I now realize just how different we were from another.

Not once did I ever doubted anything you said.
And I trusted you wholeheartedly which made me dread.
Everything I hid from people came out as a surprise,
Which I believe you think were all lies.

I’m gonna cut the crap and be straight.
You were and always be great,
You have a place in my heart which is replaceable.
The relationship we had will never be erasable.

My feelings for you were and will always be solid.
I believe you had feelings even if you were a little stolid.
I wrote this because I missed you which I always do.
And missing you always leaving me feeling blue.

Now if you’re ever to read this.
Let’s just reminisce.
I just wanted to say this and let you be,
don’t message me.
(I will only cry so much)

Upside down

Yesterday was brimming with love and joy.

Now, it’s infected of animosity and indifference.

It’s ridiculous how things can abruptly differ;

How valuable moments, become a remembrance.

Still, having strong faith that it’s just a stage,

and it’ll pass over and go back in time.

Being apprehensive of where it’s heading;

Being too afraid of the fate,

Not being able to control how things would turn out.

Crying now cause of a futile relationship.

Seeing our future slowly fading away.

Our relationship went from happiness, to love, to doubt, to fights, to stress, to pain, to hate, to regrets, to memories that won’t go away.” ~ Unknown

Simple

It can cut like knife,

and be buried inside you like a needle.

It can leave you scars that last.

Or scars that stays.

It’s not as harmless as it seems,

but it’s much more dangerous than you think.

Once you let it go you can never take it back.

Hundreds of apologies can’t heal a single strike.

It can drive someone mad,

or drive someone crazy.

Just simple words can make someone cry,

and it can make someone happy.

So, before you strike a word make sure you choose your words wisely.

The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.” ~Unknown

Lonely Heart

Those days where you just feel so lonely

When everything hurts just by looking at it.

Where you just wanna drop everything and cry.

When you wish people would come and vist,

Or the lifeless room would just be filled with joy.

When you know your lonely heart cant take another sorrow,

Where you want the whole entire world to pause,

Or better yet fast forward to the time where you feel no pain.

Those days where physical pain sounds much better than emotional pain,

but knowing you have to keep your head held up high even though inside you is falling into pieces.

When you’re the only reason why everything else is not crashing down…

When you know the reason to be strong are for those you love,

Showing no slight negative emotions.

Not knowing what to tell anybody if they find out…

Trying to battle everyday with a huge smile,

and just ignoring everything during the day,

but a facing them again at night..

“Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it, and accept it.” ~Unknown

Regrets

We regret things we’ve done in the past.

Things we aren’t proud of doing,

or things we cannot undo.

These regret scars us for life

due to we can’t fix the past.

These mistakes in the past

haunts us and affects our future, and our life.

Always thinking about the regrets we have,

and thinking of how we could’ve made a difference.

We keep blaming ourselves,

and we tend not to forgive ourselves.

We spend our present thinking about regrets we have in the past.

Not knowing about what we could do to ourselves by forgiving ourselves.

Not bothering to think about how we could be happy, instead of feeling guilt.

Hoping we could fix the regrets in life,

instead of a better tomorrow.

“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” ~ Victoria Holt

Pride

Sitting here alone,

looking out the window.

Letting my thoughts dance around.

Thinking how things would’ve turn out,

if I just have the courage to drop my pride.

Letting time run away from my palms.

Each moment I stare out here,

and think about what to do.

Is a moment gone that I can be with you.

Tears visits me,

while confusion filled my thoughts.

Decisions to make,

and looking at results.

So I sit here alone,

to wait for myself.

For the minute I gather up courage

to drop my pride,

and be with you again.

“It’s okay to lose your pride over someone you love. Don’t lose someone you love over your pride.” ~Unknown