Fear To Feared

When I was younger the only thing I feared was getting caught.
I feared people would catch me when I was a naught.
Then I grew to fear around a stranger.
Because just like any kid I felt I was in danger.

I became afraid of the dark where the shadows lurk.
I remember comforting myself whenever I see that smirk.
Then many years came and I was afraid of love.
Because I always ended up to be a mourning dove.

It’s so funny how I now understand what my fear meant.
I was masking some things that were a torment.

I now realize that shadow was a flesh smiling at me.
I recognized that smirk of a He.
I was able to recall why I feared love or lust.
Being a fragile person made me learn to distrust.

But I am stronger now and I am in control.
I realized the person inside me is not just a glory hole.
Now darkness fears me and what I turned out to be.
The shadow now knows I am more than just a nobody.

Now with all of the things, I am going through I will soon be free.
And he will still be a shadow in the dark trying to flee.

“Fear is the brains way of saying that there is something important for you to overcome.” ~ Rachel Huber

Past

The day I dread came to visit,

once again I feel the same pain I’ve felt before.

Only this time I face it alone.

The past is taunting me,

making it hard to move on..

Old words linger in my mind,

as the memories crush my heart.

Such mistakes mocks me in my dreams.

Each moment I think about it,

weakens me more and more.

Someday I’ll learn

to move on from the past,

and learn to forgive myself.

For now I just have to be patient

with myself,

till the dreaded days are just the past.

“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” ~ Johnny Cash